One Goal a Day: How Single Parents can Boost Mental Health and Confidence

Being a single parent can feel like you’re trying to juggle three full-time jobs — running a household, raising children, earning an income — all while trying to maintain your own sense of self. On some days, it’s easy to feel like you’ve been busy from sunrise to sunset, yet you’ve achieved nothing just for you.

Here’s a mindset shift that can help: commit to achieving just one self-rewarding goal a day — something that brings you satisfaction, uses your skills, and reminds you that you are capable, resourceful, and thriving despite the pressures.

Why One Goal a Day Works for Mental Health

Research supports the power of goal setting for well-being. A 2016 study published in Psychiatry Research found that adults who regularly set and achieved personal goals reported higher life satisfaction and lower symptoms of depression. Similarly, psychologists Locke and Latham have long shown that setting specific, attainable goals increases motivation and feelings of competence — something especially vital for middle-aged parents navigating the demands of solo parenting.

When you achieve even a small goal, your brain releases dopamine — a “feel good” neurotransmitter linked to motivation and learning. Over time, this builds a sense of mastery, reinforces healthy habits, and improves your confidence to tackle bigger challenges.

Structuring the ‘One Goal a Day’ Approach

To make this work, keep it simple:

1. Choose one achievable, meaningful goal – not something from your to-do list that you have to do, but something you want to do that feels rewarding.

2. Set a clear measure of success – know what “done well” looks like.

3. Break it into small stages – this makes it less overwhelming and allows you to enjoy the process.

4. Schedule it into your day – even if it’s just 30 minutes.

5. Share or celebrate it – whether it’s showing someone, enjoying the result, or simply acknowledging the effort yourself.

My Story: How a Curry Turned My Day Around

I’m only a few days away from turning 55. I’ve been a single parent for seven years since divorcing my boys’ mum. I’ve worked hard at building my life — as a father, as a friend, and as someone constantly learning and growing. I’m deeply grateful for much of my life, and yet like many people, I still have areas I haven’t yet mastered.

Last weekend was huge. I ran a 43km trail race at Rainbow Beach on Saturday and backed it up with a 42km marathon on the Sunshine Coast on Sunday — despite not training seriously for two years. It was tough. I showed up, gave what I had, and accepted that my lack of preparation showed in my performance.

This weekend, training was light. By Sunday morning, I felt that familiar itch to achieve something. I was focused on a few areas in my life where I didn't see progress and just felt quite a bit unfulfilled. My one goal for the day? Cook a braised beef coconut curry worthy of my favourite Asian-fusion restaurant.

I started in the morning, searing chunky cuts of beef, chopping onions and garlic, and frying them with curry paste, fish oil and ginger. I poured in coconut cream, added palm sugar, and let the slow cooker work its magic while I headed out for a walk.

On the way, I ran into an old friend who’d suffered something, I've actually never asked, a couple of years back. He’s about my age and we first met over 20yrs ago where as school teachers we both used to chase the kids out at 3pm and hit the surf. He's currently getting around like he's had a stroke, can’t work, and is slowly rehabbing with the support of his family. Seeing him — and remembering his love of life before the accident — reframed my day. I enjoyed our walk and chat and felt instantly more grateful for what I have.

Back home, I decided to invite a mate over for dinner. I knew he’d appreciate the company. I also dropped my son at work, did some washing, had a glass of champagne, and watched the sunset at the beach before returning to finish the curry.

When my mate arrived, I plated the meal with rice, mini pappadams, fresh coriander, and a dollop of coconut yoghurt. I completely forgot the limes, brocollini and putting on the washing machine. The curry looked and smelt amazing. We ate, laughed, and shared a genuinely good evening. Later, I picked up my son from work and published another article before bed.

That one meal — one personal goal — turned an ordinary day into something deeply satisfying.

Two Examples of One-Goal Wins

1. Cooking for Connection – Like my curry, cooking a meal that you’ve planned and perfected can be incredibly rewarding. The goal isn’t just about the food; it’s about the creativity, the care, and the joy of sharing it with someone.

2. Physical Challenges – Running my back-to-back marathon and trail race wasn’t about setting a record; it was about pushing my limits. Even though I wasn’t fully trained, just showing up and completing both events gave me a sense of achievement that carried into other parts of my life.

The Power of Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone

It’s tempting to keep your daily goals within safe boundaries — tasks you know you can accomplish. But some of the greatest personal growth comes when you push a little beyond your comfort zone. Whether that’s tackling a physical challenge, learning a new skill, or sharing something you’ve created, discomfort often leads to pride, confidence, and unexpected joy.

As single parents, it’s easy to get stuck in “survival mode” where every day feels like a checklist of obligations. By choosing one meaningful goal each day — something you actively want to achieve — you create space for self-expression, accomplishment, and genuine happiness.

Final Thoughts

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t pressure yourself to overhaul your entire life. Instead, focus on just one self-rewarding goal a day. Make it something that excites you, challenges you, or brings you joy. Over time, these small wins add up — building resilience, skills, confidence, and a richer life both for you and for your children.

Start tomorrow. Choose your one goal, commit to it, and enjoy the satisfaction of knowing you achieved something meaningful.